Friday, August 10, 2007

Wow. I' a loss. What do normal people without obsessions do? I mean, now that I've finally gotten this love life neurosis battled down to the point where I'm ready to do something different and productive with my life instead (at least temporarily), I'm kind of drawing a blank. I mean, I worried for so long and put so much effort and energy into it, that now I just don't know what to do with myself. I know, I'll figure it out, but I mean...some fundamental priorities are shifting here. Only logical imperatives require my further attention, which of course means I have to start really laying the groundwork on those if I want to function. I really can't continue on like I have, and I don't know that I've ever gotten away from it this much before. Freedom gives me anxiety from the sheer number of choices available. I'm enjoying songwriting, and I think it has meaning for me, so I'll keep that one. People? I don't know. Where do I really stand on people? What about my goals? Which among my goals stand on their own, and which were a sidelong approach at attracting members of the opposite sex? What do I value? What are the actions I believe truly worthwhile? What do I want? What do I want?

Wow. Fundamentals, right there. Who am I, in this brave new world? What next? It's going to be interesting finding out.


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