Tuesday, March 12, 2002

I'm excited...my birthday is Thurday. :) Even though I probably won't get anything much except older, I'm still young enough to remember when it was a monumentous occasion, when I was a kid. My parents aren't coming up this week, so I have my apartment to myself. Should be kinda nice. I probably won't really get all that much out of it, though, apart from sitting around a lot, sleeping a lot, and drawing and/or writing stuff. Still, it should be okay.
Lots of nostalgia the past week. I've noticed that I've been going over my childhood a lot lately, reliving a lot of past experiences and formative events in my life that I had long since put aside, or at least not brought up so much of late. At first I thought that it was some sort of freudian regression of some kind, and that it was a response to trauma or emotional shock or something else along those lines. I also thought it might be depression or something, but that didn't fit either, really, because I wasn't really mulling over the depression set of memories, at least not any more than any other ones, and I was feeling better as the process went on. Then I realized what it was. I've been, apparently, rebuilding. Something I used to do a lot as a child when faced with new situations, but had not done since right around the onset of puberty, with one notable exception that I will get into later when I have time. Reinforcing that which is relevant to one's life right now, and minimizing the impact of what might hinder one's progress right now. I used to go through this a lot every summer, going from being used to having people around, in both a positive and negative sense, and getting used to being by myself without it making me crazy, lonely, or any other word ending in -y. Perfectly normal process for an only child, especially one who didn't make many friends when he was a small child, at least not outside of school. It's odd, though, that it has arisen again now, when it could have surfaced so many times in the past. Still, I welcome the change a bit. I remember it having some distinct advantages in the areas of social adaptation, education, and various other little things.
Anyway, no real point to this ramble, just kindling the flame.


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