A quick survey of crushes I had as a young man: Ally Sheedy's character from The Breakfast Cub; the neurotic girl from Real Genius; Winona Ryder's character from Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael; cartoon character Daria; Winona Ryder in most of the rest of her roles; Janeane Garofalo; Maureen Flannigan; Janine Turner in Northern Exposure; Sarah Jessica Parker; Jodie Foster; Tori Amos; Leah Andreone; and Björk.

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Jesus, I'm weird...