Wednesday, May 28, 2003

What I really want to find is a well-written, soap-opera-type blog by some histrionic teenager. I know everyone hates those except for me, and I admit that they are sometimes really horrible, but sometimes you'll catch one, and you'll get kinda caught up in the person's life. The thing about that time period, when we make mountains out of molehills because we have so few external pressures, is that there is such a purity of emotions in it. Like the first blog I ever read, which was by Natalie Engel. She took it down, of course, but it was cool. The happiness was absolute, the sadness, the loneliness, the despair, the anger, the laughter, the pride, all of it absolute. None of that muddle that we adults have. (And yes, those of you who remember the site will point out she was in college. Fine, if you remember the site, drop me a line. I'm impressed at your internet longevity.) And of course, none of it is based on life-shattering events, just smiles and snubs across the room, thoughts and dreams and memories pushing and pulling, prodding us through the darkness. I miss it, I guess. Nowadays everything is so real. Every emotion is connected to something external. Isn't there something more? Wasn't there? I could have sworn I....I guess it's gone.


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