One interesting thing about getting older is that you occasionally discover that you have gotten used to things that at one point you would have never believed you would encounter at all. I find myself very glad that I'm in my 30's for a variety of reasons, but it's always nice to find even more reasons to enjoy it.

Also, I may have finally figured out what to do with that old-ish computer that's been sitting in the garage. It would make a great receptacle for hard drives, since it's just fast enough to be good for something but just slow enough that it isn't going to cut it as a machine that interacts with easily frustrated human.

Don't buy more particle board - a good point. I think Thom is the only person I can think of that's my age that has furniture. I mean, people have particle board & ikea stuff, and some of that stuff is even pretty decent, but particle board is just glorified cardboard.

Why is it that even though I accept that exercising always makes me feel about three times better than I did *before* I exercised, I still find it just as difficult to make myself go? I mean, I'm starting to actually *enjoy* exercising, and I *still* drag my feet like a teenager being forced to pose for family photos.

Cat Ladies, anyone?

Long time, no write. Yeah yeah, I know.

Anyway, I'm thinking of reviving this space a little, but it's going to require me really rethinking what it is all about. The space, not "what's it all about, man?" kind of stuff.

Here we go! A playlist of stuff I've been listening to lately:

Let's see if this works:

From The Austinist - "My good friend Molly Ivins once told me that if you are very poor, save your pennies and use them to buy cat food because you can always trick your stomach into feeling full with a glass of water before bed but you cannot shut up a screaming cat without food."

A quick survey of crushes I had as a young man: Ally Sheedy's character from The Breakfast Cub; the neurotic girl from Real Genius; Winona Ryder's character from Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael; cartoon character Daria; Winona Ryder in most of the rest of her roles; Janeane Garofalo; Maureen Flannigan; Janine Turner in Northern Exposure; Sarah Jessica Parker; Jodie Foster; Tori Amos; Leah Andreone; and Björk.

...

Jesus, I'm weird...

Woke up at midnight after going to bed at 8:30 because the exercise program I'm on is exhausting. Listened to the new Dar Williams album, which came out last summer but I missed somehow. I just spent the last 45 minutes crying like I haven't in years. The thing is, there are so many things and people to cry about I don't know what or why I was crying. Or why I still am. I just know it needs to happen, and is probably behind schedule.

11) Although I write songs, I am as yet not that satisfied with my songwriting. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a lot of motivation to continue. I'm afraid I'm getting kind of a "yeah, I did that," attitude about it, but I suspect it is more pedestrian writer's block. I did complete 15 songs though.

12) I don't shave my beard, ever, because I have scars on my chin from a bicycle accident as a child. I got the speedometer on my cycle up to what I remember to be 30MPH. I suspect that this is not an accurate memory, though. Probably somewhere in the high 20's. One second I'm going, the next the bike is wobbling...all of a sudden the bike is no longer under me, just vanished like a magic trick. Scraped up my elbows, knees, and chin, and got me a plastic tooth for my troubles. Made me scared to "get back on the horse" for a while, too.

13) I had my gallbladder removed when I was in my early 20's. The doctors were amazed that I was not an alcoholic, and it took some time convincing them that I in fact almost never drink. I suspect that I encouraged the gallstone growth by taking supplements of creatine designed for athletes. Just because GNC sells it doesn't mean you should take it, especially not the recommended way. (Gallstones are made in part of creatine, you see) Taking an internal organ out sucks, even a little one, and I found out that I have delightfully atypical responses to painkillers and anesthetics. Morphine doesn't really work to kill pain, just shuts me up, and anesthetics work for a shortened period of time if at all. Waking up in the operating theatre when they have collapsed your lungs to get to your gallbladder sucks, and hurts. Novocaine doesn't work at all on me, and the rest of the -caine family work poorly if at all. 36 shots of lidocaine in the jaw and nitrous oxide was all it took to convince my dentist of this. The amusing part is that he dropped hints that he suspected it to be the result of a previous cocaine habit - sorry, doc, but it's a natural immunity that I discovered at 11 when they used novocaine to remove a small lump from my right leg. It wasn't cancer, but it hurt like nine hells since the novocaine didn't work at all.

14) Speaking of tumours, I have a small tumour on my stomach. The doctor told me to check back with him if it ever grew in size, but that was 18 years ago and it hasn't. It has, at the least, outlived my doctor...then again so has that creepy immortal tumour in Tazmania.

15) I claim to have a bad memory for names, and to a degree this is true, but not really. In fact, I tend to make up little nicknames for people in my head almost instantly but don't want to let them know that because it's rude and a terrible crutch. I rarely mean anything particularly bad by them, but they are sometimes insulting even though I'm not thinking of them that way. "Redhead Joker-Grin Guy" was a guy I knew in Mesquite. You can see why that would be offensive, but it wasn't insulting in my head, just an identifier. If I can still remember it after I've learned your name, you can ask me yours, but promise not to get offended - I promise it's not meant to be unless you frighten me or threaten my loved ones, or really really really annoy me.

16) People have this impression that I'm a nice guy, for some reason. I know I do things that encourage this, but they are not entirely accurate in their assumptions. I'm not a bad guy, I don't think, but my reputation is not nearly as deserved as some of the BS I hear from time to time. People confuse apathy for something else, I think.

17) I am slightly color blind. My father is profoundly color blind, but can still see a few things. When I was a kid, my mother and I would have him pick the green vegetables from the garden because he could see them very clearly whereas to us they were all but invisible amongst the green.

18) I miss my mother, and it bothers me that I haven't really had much time to grieve even now. Didn't stop me from letting my life get out of control as if I were grieving, but I haven't faced it consciously very much yet. We were growing apart for a while before the end, and had just begun to get closer again. I regret very much that I didn't get to tell her how much she meant to me and how amazed I was by her - how she influenced everything about me in so many ways, and how proud I am of those things in me that came from her...even though she knows, and knew even then I think.

19) I have a tremendous amount of respect for some of my friends. I try my best to respect everyone I call a friend, but some people are true examples for me. I can't really express it without sounding like I'm kissing up or being blind to their flaws, but neither is the case. Thom, Kat, Jared, John, Fro Daddy Kody, Eddie, Phillip at times although the friendship is young, Stacy, Collin although-you-are-on-watch-mister, An old friend who wishes to remain nameless but knows who she is, Julianne, Marc "Chess Guy", and Noreen, among many others, are truly amazing people. Anyone who doesn't believe that the universe contains greater things than we usually conceive of doesn't stop to look around them very much. We are *surrounded* by the remarkable so much that we fail at times to remark upon it, and lose the picture altogether. (And if I didn't include you on here, that doesn't mean you aren't included on the list - I was just running through names quickly in my head)

That's all for now...check back later for more exciting bat-updates.